Oh hi Miranda can I come in no we’re supposed to do an interview. Did you forget? No, we didn’t forget, then. Why can’t I come in cuz? I don’t want you to please. Oh fine, come on in Thanks. Oh, how are you today Miranda brain? What are you up to just raining my horse? You just had a baby. How are you feeling, Oh awful, written, my talking to a million pizzas I want to see? Where is your baby? No, no. Am I supposed to keep tabs on my baby 24/7. Give me a break: how old is he now? Oh, probably like ten, do you like being a mom? No, it’s awful! Why not because he poops all the time he screams all the time and he gets away with me when I poop and scream all the time.
I get in trouble, it’s nothing. Are you breastfeeding? No, you pervert, I’m not a cannibal. You know disgusting. Do you have any role models? Yes, I do. Oh myself, what’s the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning? Oh poop, why do you eat? I don’t ding-dong I found. Is it good mmm birthday? So yes, if you could only eat one thing for the rest of life meet myself. What’s the worst thing about you, you everybody else, no um. I just said no, but the thing I’m most assigned about. It’s probably getting the money from all the people who come to the shelves, goodbye, my mom to get my tickets. I love money so um, I don’t know they’re really boring cities I never heard of, but I’m sure the editor will put them on the screen. So they’ll be nice or anything come home yeah, sohurry up and get them before they run out. Thank you are you? Are you going to order more cities in the future? I hope so, but people have to buy tickets to this one sohurry up. We have a lot of talents, but what is your favorite, probably my singing? Did you show me one of your talents right now? Oh sure, why I’m showing you one of my talents, it’s ignoring you. Could you do a different talent? No, I don’t want to what is your worst habit? Ah saying yes to interviews, then I don’t want to do like this one. Oh, did you want the privacy? No, are you sure? Yes, I’m sure this is weird. Can I leave no? Do you prefer cats or dogs depends on if they’re down living if they’re dead cats, if they’re living need on salts, you’re, sweet, crunching, rain or Sun, I don’t really go outside so night or day, I’m sleeping you disgusting, racist needle. What’s the most expensive thing, you won’t think about things, probably my diamond plane button that I got when I got 10 million subscribers, but I can’t get the diamond out, so it’s basically useless, so the locks of my hair are probably really expensive Today, um, I’m not sure I think he’s still hiding from when we are playing hide-and-seek, so I got to get going soon, he’s waiting for me.
Yes, he does, but only the ones where I’m sleeping for a really long mounts of time He loves to film those What was it like working with Jerry, Seinfeld um, awful one of the worst, the spirits in my life? To be honest, nohe’s dead What he’s dead, of course, he’s dead? Are you serious? He was like a hundred years old when I filmed with him Sohe’s gotta be dead by now right What are your plans today? My plans were to get out of this interview, but you’re here, so you ruin my day thanks for that sleazy Where did you get all this stuff? Oh, my fans got me all this stuff Most of it’s fan gifts I keep it So I look like a good person Do you have a paper um right now, I’m gonna wake, my champ it cuz It’s been growing some fuzzies So I’m pretty proud of this: did you draw all this banner? Yes, they did, and you know my favorites I actually keep hidden, so I can look at it in silence by myself, um it’s this one I just love the detail on this picture I think it’s incredible Your fans write you letters No, I don’t make them Why not cuz I hate reading it’s boring Do you keep the letters? Yes, unfortunately, where are they sir New York Columbia? See Albany’s boxing is some of the moths can eat them over time? This was nice bumbles, this one’s very sparkly, but my favorite is probably this one of Oprah Her eyes are right on the chesticles, because the eyes are the windows to the soul I’m not gonna telling you that or you can you mean that’s primate You do not want one of my lipsticks from where I keep them Trust me about that one I don’t really keep New York things, but the most triggering thing is this from when I was pregnant I keep this to remind me of the hardest time of my life, and it also makes me think about the worst thing That’s ever happened to me, my child What are you most proud of? Oh man, that’s a good point, gene probably to scab I picked this morning It came off in one chunk It was incredible and huge um haven’t thought about it, yet I’m still full from the scamp Oh man, probably myself, my haters, of course, what’s your biggest fear that you’re gonna stay here any longer, can you please don’t? Yes, please get out? No, I want you to go, I’m not sure Yes, I’m very sure and get out Yes, please can you please go Thank you fixing You just want me to leave without finishing meet you, okay, bye, okay, you can come from what alerts me blue right on the bunny bone