Yesterday I had my MRI.. I had wanted to show you guys more of that just so you knew what it was like for the experience, but an MRI machine is like giant and magnetic, and it’s in a hospital place where you’re not supposed to film anyway.. So like there wasn’t a possibility to get that for you and I’m sorry, because I do want to help educate people who are curious about like what all these processes are.. Basically an MRI. Is this large machine and you go into it.
It’s kind of like a tube that you’re in like ugh (, laughs, ). They like slide you into this tube.. They started off. Having me go in head first. If you’re, claustrophobic or anything. This is like a very intense experience.. I have gotten MRIs before and not had issues.. However, yesterday I had major issues.. I had a lot of trouble going in the machine and I wasn’t expecting that.. I didn’t know that much about how it would be different, but what they did with this fetal MRI was. They had to strap this kind of a little bit heavy thing on my stomach., I’m assuming was for better, like fetal image like it was to get the baby’s brain. Anyway. That was a little heavy, and then I was on my back and when you’re at this point in pregnancy, lying on your back can cause issues with like oxygen and it just causes some problems.. Most women are advised to be on their left side when they lie down.. I kept going in on my back and I would and having this heavier thing, also compressing on me, and also I don’t know. I was definitely feeling like emotionally really anxious.. It was a very intense, like very tight tube that I was going. Into. I’ve been in bigger MRI machines and this one was like really tight.. I’m sure there was some anxiety that was coming into play., But basically I would get in and be in for like one or two minutes and panic and I’ve never had a panic moment in the MRI machine before and I would like have to use the panic Button get taken out. And I actually think I was like. I was having issues because of being on my back.. I was getting close to fainting.. My skin got like really sweaty and clammy and faint, and I was feeling faint and just really awful.. I would sit up and kinda breathe for a little bit then lie down. Do it again, and we got to a point where the guy was like. You know we’re just gonna have to not do this today. And I was like that’s not possible, like we have to do this. We have to do this. I have to know what’s going on. And I was like I’m just gonna get more pregnant and it’s just gonna be harder to lay on my back.
So can we please, can we do this tilted a little bit to the left And he found some like pillows and stuff, and we propped me up to the left side a little bit.. He arranged it, so it would work. It made it. So the machine was even tighter because I had pillows around me, so it was like and my arms, like usually they’re by your side and they wouldn’t even fit by my side. So they were like cramped like this, and I could feel the machine as I went in like the edges were touching me.. It was that tight. ( laughs ), So it was like a very, very tight squeeze.. He also let me go in feet first, but my head was still completely like my whole body was in the tube. That time I was totally able to get through it.. I did feel way better.. It was definitely definitely an issue with lying. On my back., I do think I had some anxieties and other things that were exacerbating the lying down, but as soon as I was able to tilt to the left, it was way better.. So I wish I had tried that a little bit sooner. Really pushed for that a little sooner.. It’s also like the whole. Mri is longer because it’s a baby one and the baby can’t move, and you can’t like tell a baby. Don’t move baby. And it’s very loud. The machine is extremely loud.. I had earplugs in and like ear coverings, but the baby doesn’t have that. So I don’t know how loud it is to the baby.. I was worried about that too and like how that would be affecting him.. The technician said that one thing that often happens is it’s so loud that the baby like kicks around and responds to that noise, and that makes the whole process even longer.. The amazing news is that ( laughs ), our little guy, didn’t have as much trouble with it.. He was moving a little bit in the first images that I was having problems with, so he could have even just been responding to my heart rate and what was going on with me., But then once I calmed down and was able to handle it on. My left side, he was really still and we got all the images that we needed to get. Amazing.. I did not anticipate that being such a struggle, but it was like it was dramatic and it was okay in the end.. So my advice is, if you ever need to do one of those make sure you do a little bit of a tilt on your left side.. I learned a lesson there. I was like. Can I see the images ( laughs )? Can you show me? I can’t like I don’t wanna wait.
And they’re like oh, we can’t show you the images, but I can send you home with a CD. And I was like yes, please send me home with a CD., So I waited a little bit and they printed out A CD for me and then we were you, know, hours from home, (, laughs, ) and hadn’t eaten in a long time. We’d been planning on going to eat afterward.. I didn’t have a disc drive because, like Christopher had his laptop but laptops like don’t get disc drives incorporated in them anymore.. I called some people that I knew that lived in the area and they didn’t have disc drives. Either. They’re definitely becoming a thing in the past., So we stopped on our way because there was traffic and we were very hungry. We stopped and ate and I definitely considered buying a disc drive. But I was like no, I can be patient and I don’t know like what am I it’s not like. It was gonna have results on it.. It was just going to have some of the images.. I didn’t know. If I’d be able to read them., I didn’t know if the images would even work on our computer., So I didn’t want to be like too rash and buy one, but I was really really thinking about doing so.. So then we get home. I spend time with the kids cuddle with them, get them to sleep, say goodbye to the babysitter all that. And we find our disc drive.. You can’t hear it now. We use this disc drive somewhat frequently. However, this particular occasion it was making a lot of noise when you touched it. And it wasn’t working, it wasn’t turning on.. So I was like, what’s going on, I start shaking it a little bit’cause, I’m like what is all this noise and a guitar pick comes out of it, ( laughs, ), Then I’m shaking it and lots there’s lots of noise.. Basically, it was filled with guitar picks and what are these things and these like poker chips.? So apparently, I guess Duncan figured like got into it., So like I’m like, are you kidding me.? How is this now the thing that we’re dealing with Christopher ran to Target and got another CD disc drive.? We ended up figuring out to get the disc to work.. I looked at it and I have like trained myself to understand these images at this point.. It didn’t make a lot of sense to me.. There was an amazing picture of his hand.. Like blew my mind, I was not expecting any sort of like hand or other body part images.. There was just this incredible like right away image of his hand and it was like it was so beautiful and so like stunning and unexpected, and I just felt like really calm and like amazing after seeing that.
. And then there were a bunch of really confusing brain pictures.. I was able to see the thing that I knew that they were looking for and that was called the vermis. I’ve really like I’ve watched seminars on finding a vermis on an MRI and an ultrasound. So I was like I know how to do this. I can do this. I can be a doctor, ( laughs ). I was looking for it and ultimately, like I found it and I was like. I think this is the right size. I think this is what they’re looking for. I think that I think it’s there., But then everything else. I was like. I have no idea what else we’re looking for.. I wasn’t able to completely figure it out on my own, but I did feel like I felt more hopeful seeing those images.. I felt like one of the big things that we were looking for was there.. So at that point I went to sleep. It was really late like after midnight., I was really tired, pretty worn out from the MRI. I tried to reach my doctor this morning had some trouble and then I got to them and they hadn’t gotten the results yet.. I had to wait until like just about now., My doctor called me and it’s kinda weird.. Basically, I was right when I saw the vermis and that that is fully intact. Awesome., That it’s correct, positioned correctly.. He also said that everything else everything else looks amazing in the brain and that everything he’s seen so far on the other ultrasounds like heart and all that stuff looked great.. However, the cerebellum, which is the thing he initially had detected, is still asymmetrical, and it still has one side that is smaller.. One side is 12 millimeters and the other side is 15 millimeters., So this is called an asymmetrical, cerebellum or unilateral hypoplasia.. The thing is: is that it’s already, even with the extra stuff like with the things like the vermis being gone, or something like that, it’s already extremely rare, it’s a really rare condition., What’s going on now with us, is it’s now like extremely rare to the point Where my doctor was like I’ve never seen this before. I’ve seen one other instance of a asymmetrical cerebellum and that instance, the brain was also missing the vermis and had other issues.. All the studies he could find was the asymmetrical cerebellum and then other issues. To have a asymmetrical cerebellum and no other issues. Number one is really hopeful.. Maybe he’s just got a little asymmetrical brain and, like bottom line like I don’t think I don’t think it could be anything very, very grim, which is definitely what we were looking for.
. So that’s really good., Like all the things that were like very, very, very, very scary. I believe we have ruled out.. So that’s amazing., That’s a huge relief.. At the same time, we don’t have anything to compare it. To.. We don’t have any other like stories of. Oh well, here’s what happened in these situations because we can’t find other situations where this has happened.. The next step is, we are getting referred to a pediatric neurologist, so that’s a specialist in the brain for kids and that person is a specialist and a high-up specialist. So a specialist at Children’s Hospital in LA., So someone who’s like seen a lot and knows a lot and hopefully has some experience in this realm.. I’ve tried looking it up too, and I see what my current specialist is saying that it’s just it is really rare. And I think I found a situation of. I found a study of like two cases, so two people in similar situations and I think that they turned out with no major issues.. So while there’s question of like what could be going on, you know, are we going to end up, maybe with some seizure issues or speech, delays or motor delays or like tics? It’s still, you know some of that can still be scary, but at the same time, like yeah sure we could do that., It’s more that we just like we don’t know. We’re gonna go to the pediatric neurologist.. The pediatric neurologist has to be someone who’s like seen a lot and that’s gonna take time.. So I’m sorry, I’m sorry to you guys and also like ( laughs ). This is just very real, like this all just takes time, and that can be really really stressful.. You guys are actually getting this information faster than we got it. We delayed posting and stuff last week’cause. We were really really really really upset and really scared. Really really really all those things.. Because of that, this update is getting to you faster than we got it. So we had a lot of time that we were like really really scared and waiting for this news.. I know it’s stressful for all of us.. I know you guys care about us and care about this little guy.. I know that this is. I think this has been a scary, situation. And there’s a big reality that we might not know if there’s any differences for years. Like we just might not know The big big big thing is that so far we’re not looking.
We hope we’re not looking at anything major catastrophic, So that’s really good news I think that just overall, this is really good news, even though it’s also not definitive There’s gonna be a lot of unknowns and we’re going to probably have a lot of doctor’s appointments and where we’ll be learning a lot about the brain – And I should say I’m sorry – I should have said this earlier, but the cerebellum is the part That’s in control of motor functions, So that controls like movement, voluntary, involuntary movement So that’s why I was saying like there might be tics or seizures It’s that involuntary movement process could be affected in some ways Or some people will have like paralysis on one side or something like that It’s a huge variety of things that could be affected and that’s why they say speech too I think because then, maybe your muscles aren’t working like you’re, not able to control them the way you’d want to, It’s gonna, be a learning process, Hey Duncan I love you Did you just wake up from your nap Yeah, Making calls Who just called Grandma? Oh say hi for me: okay Hi So if you are having trouble processing all of this information, the way I have been having trouble processing all of this information Basically, the short summary is: the current diagnosis is unilateral hypoplasia, which means an asymmetrical cerebellum, which means one side is a little bit smaller than the other side of the cerebellum, which is in control of motor functions We’ve ruled out a lot of the big possibilities, as well as a lot of the like medium possibilities Now we just need to move forward Now we need to you know, continue our days with our kids and at some point meet with a pediatric neurologist where we’re like getting scheduled for that right now But I don’t know when it’s gonna happen, I guess just live life, hoping for the best and believing in the best, just with kind of a lingering question mark, But overall, with a lot of hope Love You guys thank you for your prayers Thank you for your support This little guy’s gonna be amazing No matter what He’s gonna be an incredible joy to our home We’Re so excited about him, Really relieved to hear the news today