Model lives

GRWM: Open / Live Update, 2 years on YouTube.

30 Sep , 2019  

What’s up guys welcome back to my channel, so today is gonna, be a chit chat II. something that you guys probably don’t see much on my channel, because your girl finds it hard to open up and be vulnerable. I’m just gonna be updating you guys on things that have been happening in my life and what honestly, the last few years here on YouTube, pretty much almost two years now here on YouTube has been like for me so yeah.. They sent me over a few things and a few things I already own because I actually shop at CVS a lot more than I should it’s literally down the street.
So if you guys want to see how I created this look and just hang out with me, while I do my makeup and chat life keep on watching, so I’m gonna go ahead and just get started. I really don’t know what I’m gonna be talking about right now, but you know it’s a new thing for you: girl, I’m gonna go ahead and moisturize my hands really quickly. It’s a Neutrogena hydraboost hand gel cream, but if you guys now have not tried the Neutrogena hydraboost line, you’re missing out, so ya gotta moisturize my hands really quickly yeah. I truly don’t know where to start, and I don’t know why it’s honestly taking me this long to kind of just like be this open with you guys. I think it’s mainly because, like I’m really afraid of being vulnerable and putting myself out there, because I’ve been through a few bad friendships, people like to take advantage of people that have that kind of willing to forgive and willing to forget mindset like okay, let’s let It go like, let’s just let it go, cuz, I’m the type of person. I don’t like to continue keeping around baggage with me. I’D rather try and do my best to let it go sometimes letting it go, doesn’t mean letting it go. It means pushing it down and waiting for it to bubble back up, which is something I am also guilty of, but not as much as I thought I was like I’d, rather just let it go and move on next thing I got from CVS. Was this mass from the mass bar and it’s a pink clay peel-off mask, so I’m just gonna apply that all over my face really quickly. It says it’s hydrating! That’s why I chose it and moisturizing actually and that’s why I chose it because, typically, when I’ve used clay masks before they were very drying, I’ve asked you guys questions before in the past. Like send me some questions, personal questions, you guys want to ask me and then they started coming and I was like no, I’m scared and it just honestly. Let me know if you guys have something like that, where it just gives you anxiety to be like so vulnerable and so open.
So, honestly, when I first started my channel, my main focus was trying to bring awareness to the fact like there wasn’t any like makeup. Products for dark skin were just like non-existent, and that’s why I didn’t want to like diet, not dilute but like I didn’t want to like, not dilute, and it’s not really diluting or anything. But I just didn’t want to anything to distract from the fact that this was so important to me and, like I really wanted to like make sure people understood like and not like get distracted by anything like. Let’s say it just got too personal, or I said something wrong and you know, cancel culture is so apparent, and I just it was too important to me to put my channel and my platform at risk. That’s why I didn’t even have Anthony on my channel for a very long time. No one even knew like me, and him were together for a very long time and yeah. Now I look like Casper’s sister ready for Halloween, so yeah, I’m just gonna be talking to you guys, saying as I look like a crazy monster. Oh yeah, we’re definitely dry all right. Let’s start peeling.. So that’s a pass that is a plus actually already so now I’m gonna go ahead and spray. My face down. I’m gonna use this Garnier skin active soothing, facial mist and it’s made with rose water, I’m going to prime using the master blur stick from Maybelline and if this is anything like the blur stick from Lancome, I’m gonna be here for it, especially since this Is a lot cheaper, it already looks like it’s definitely blurring feels really soft, so yeah um one more month, and I think it’s at the end of the month. Actually, in October I will be celebrating my two-year anniversary here on YouTube. but it literally has nothing to do with my channel right now whatsoever, but yeah a lot of stuff has happened. I’m so just like proud of the progress that I’ve been able to help create here on YouTube. This is the maybelline superstay stick foundation. I have it in the shade 380. Don’t typically like stick foundations, but this one kind of got me a little excited it blends out really easily and super smooth. It just looks really nice, I’m not a really big celebrator of things. I don’t celebrate when I like achieve a milestone or when I do something that I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.
You know um. I don’t know why. I don’t know, I think it’s like it hasn’t something to do with how I grew up. I am the oldest of seven and we all lived with her we’re all girls and we all live with our dad, and it was just a situation where I kind of had to step up and be be almost a mom kind of at a very young age. Like I had to grow up really really fast and that kind of shaped a lot of my life for a very very long time – and I wasn’t – I grew up really really fast, so I didn’t really like get a chance to grow up. You know how you grow up and you’re just worried about yourself. You can just like kind of move like a chat like a child would like a young adult would like a teenager. Would I really didn’t get that experience because, like I said, I kind of had to step into a mom role at a very young age around like 13, and that kind of shaped my way of taking care of myself and by taking care of myself not taking Care of myself, it kind of just put me in a place where I didn’t take care of myself for a very long time, and even when I attempted to take care of myself, I wasn’t really taking care of myself. I wasn’t focusing on myself and it’s something that it’s kind of not haunted me but now, like it’s my main priority to kind of make sure I’m good and make sure I’m living for myself. Not like not worry about other people, but listen to myself and listen to if it’s something that I can do, I will, but I’m like my biggest motto right now is I’ve always been an over extender all of my life now my biggest thing is like. If I can do it, I will if I feel, like I’m overextending myself, I think about it. I’m like it’s just gonna overextend, you like are you gonna, be in shambles? If you do this, and now it’s like I’m okay with saying no and no was like one of the hardest things I had to learn, especially when it comes to your family and like your baby sisters, they’re, like my children, basically and it’s hard to like, say No, but I just needed to do it for myself, like I feel like I got this new like not lease on life like, I feel, like I’m aging backwards at this point, and it’s kind of crazy, because I’m finally doing things and like living for myself and Like not worried about someone else all the time and just worried about myself and taking care of myself and like healing myself and stuff like that, and it’s honestly kind of crazy, I don’t feel like I’m. I am like where I’m supposed to be in life.
I feel like I’m like, like 18, all right, so next, I’m using the NYX HD concealer in the shade 8.8. I think it’s a spresso yeah espresso, I’m just gonna pop that on to my under eyes – and I use the 8.8 because it’s not too bright and I don’t look 900 shades lighter, but look how smooth this superstay foundation is. It looks so good but yeah, like I said almost a year and a half doing YouTube full-time a little over a year, actually doing YouTube full-time and it’s been one of the most craziest experiences of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever worked harder for anything in my life than my youtube career right now. It’s just kind of crazy. Now, like that this is like it like its honestly insane. I still can’t believe it. Sometimes I wake up, and I’m like, is this really life to do something that I love so much it’s on? It’s just crazy. I truly feel blessed, so I’m gonna go ahead and blend this out after quitting my jobs and doing you two full time. I went into almost somewhat of a sedentary lifestyle if you ever been a bartender and server and someone that works in the service industry, where you’re, consistently on your feet running around moving back and forth in a very high-volume restaurant. It’s completely different when you’re doing that. I was doing it maybe like three or four days a week, so it’s like almost a form of exercise. I was doing that maybe three or four days a week and to go from not doing that at all and continuing. You know bad eating habits and, just you know yeah, I ended up gaining a little bit of weight and for the longest time I let it hold me back from a lot of things that are very, very important to me, and it almost made me very very Sad, and actually it did make me really sad, it made me really sad because I just was like not accepting of my body at the current state that it is, and now I never really thought about it. You know how people say like if you are a person, that’s trying to lose weight, you have to love yourself first and I’m just like. No. I don’t have to that like. I need to lose it now. It needs to go like right now. I don’t want to love it. I want it to go actually and until recently I’ve just kind of been like it’s okay, you, you just have a few extra pounds on you, just like it’s okay and like, and for me my biggest thing is I love fashion. I love clothing. I love i I just I am like. I love it so much. That was actually my first like if you would have asked me when I was 13 what I wanted to do when I grew up.
I wanted to be a fashion designer hands-down. No one could talk me out of it, except my dad when he talked me into nursing school. No one could talk me out of it and I just was like that. Was it for me and then like gaining weight and like not being okay with my body and not accepting it really kind of messed with me a little bit, and it kind of just made me really sad. As far as like not being able to wear the clothes or look the way that I envisioned looking in clothes and until recently I kind of was just like okay, here’s the thing you know why you’re sad, you know, what’s making me sad, what if you just Accept the fact that this is where you’re at right now work on it slowly and just get your just go back into doing what you like to do, which is picking out outfits and like putting them together and like arranging them. The way you want to and that’s kind of what I’ve been doing and I’ve been so happy recently I’ve just been like so yes, this is exactly what I wanted to do. Of course, you know, weight gain and weight loss is definitely a journey, and that is the journey I’m on right now and I don’t know, I’m definitely still trying to lose my extra pounds. You know that few extra pounds, but it’s not something where I’m beating myself up about it as much as I used to and yeah. I can’t believe I just talked about that because yeah that’s kind of crazy. It’s the loose setting powder. This is the elf foundation blurring brush, but I’m just using it to set underneath my eyes, my lid and then add just a little blush with my all-time favorite elf blush palette in dark. I use these three shades right here. Next, I’m using this little elf palette. Right here it’s just a two pan eyeshadow palette – I don’t remember the name of it, but I’ll have it in the description, along with everything else. I’m just gonna take the matte shade right here and put it into the crease and we’re just going for a very simple look. Today, I’m just gonna honestly spread that all over my lipstick with Mac just came out, and that was such a huge accomplishment that I was just like. I usually don’t say it, and I never say it enough that I’m proud of myself and like that I am, I can’t believe that I was able to achieve something like that, because you know you know a girl’s hard on herself and she never gives herself a break but yeah I just I’m so proud of myself, like.
I can’t believe I was even able to create something like that to create a product like that It’s so crazy and I just can’t wait to see what else is in store like there’s, there’s so many things that I do want to tell you guys But it’s just not time yet, but I can’t wait Gods definitely been by my side, I’m just taking that shimmer into the lid Just with the finger you guys know I love the simple looks alrighty So I just finished my eyes and I popped on my lashes I’m gonna use the L’Oreal infallible liquid lipstick This is the chocolate one that they just came out with I think there’s a few different shades of this kind of chocolate line, and then I have the covergirl chocolate, haul, chocoholic bronzer and I’m gonna use that as a highlighter cuz It’s definitely not bronzing anything on this face So as I apply this lipstick she’s so Anthony and I are considering moving – we just don’t know where, and we don’t know if it’s even worth it at this point, because Dallas and Texas in general is so affordable compared to like other parts of the world, meaning Like LA and New York and all that – and we are considering moving, maybe for like the betterment of my career, but then again it’s like I’ve been doing so well here and it’s so much more affordable Is it worth the move? Well, yeah! That’s just something you’re! Considering not sure yet, if we’re actually gonna even do it or make that next step This smells like chocolate, alright guys So this is pretty much the finished look I got all these products from CVS in store at that which is bomb If you are a part of their CVS, beauty club, you get three dollars extra bucks for every 30 dollars that you spend, and now more than ever CVS is become a destination for beauty products You can find pretty much any drugstore Beauty item in Sevilla and most of these products were in store So that is really really good And for me it’s important to me because it just means that we’re making progress that products for deeper skin tones are being stopped In store, even in the drugstore I hope you guys have enjoyed it, make sure you leave it a thumbs up if you did and forget to subscribe and turn on your notifications, thanks again for watching guys, lots of love and I’ll see you guys next time,

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