My dudes it’s the last week of school, we made it. I still have classes and stuff like that. I still have things to do so: it’s not just gonna be like a fluffy vlog. I’ve already gotten dressed, I’m looking kind of homeless, but please it’s the last week of school, don’t hold me to any standards. I’ve also already had breakfast and I’m pretty sure you guys already know that lob loss was devoid of all tortillas, so I’m having to eat avocado toast, which is we’re not gonna talk about that.
It’s almost time for me to go it’s raining, but I am determined to walk to school. Let’s get going the final week. This was it no more. Would I be a high school student? My senioritis would soon be cured, but don’t fool yourself. I was still suffering from its symptoms. Mother nature seems to be feeling the same way too, but I wasn’t complaining. It’s been mathematically proved by no one that I have a better day when it’s raining, I swear when I wake up, it is just pouring outside. I audibly say today’s gonna be a good day anyways I arrived at school after my hike and was immediately greeted by Jade doing whatever the heck. This is on that note. Jade has a whole army of raccoons in her backyard right now and it’s one of the best things I’ve ever seen. But as things go, I soon found myself in calculus doing my work and having a grand old time, crunching numbers like a maniac, hello, my dudes. So we’re now walking home from school. I talked about how I only have two courses this semester. So let me give you a quick rundown of everything that happened so in math. I had to hand in these study notes. The math department at my school makes us rate study notes for each unit and they are the most frivolous, unnecessary things ever. You just have to regurgitate the lessons onto a piece of paper and write in size, two font, to make sure that everything fits on the page and then I have chemistry and chemistry. Nothing happens. Now we’re gonna go home. I’m gonna make my lunch and then I’ll probably go to the gym and then I’ll make dinner. Oh today on the menu acorn squash, let me tell you something: acorn squash is gonna, be the death of me. My mom bought me this mandolin slicer and it’s amazing. She also made me wear these stupid cut proof gloves, so that I don’t chop off my fingers, we’re gonna see if they actually work. I hide doubt they will. It is 3:45 Tuesday afternoon and today today we have something special.
My school has an athletic banquet every single year for all the kids who did sports. I did both swimming and cross-country for my school. It’s pretty much just a dinner, but the exciting thing is you get to dress up and let me tell you something, I’m stepping out. So let me show you what I’m wearing okay stay with me for one second, so I was just on the internet. The other day – and I saw these boots and then I thought to myself: these have my name written all over them. I have no use for this. I am probably gonna use this once and never again, but it’s gonna look good. So this is what my feet are wearing and then I went to Orencia and bought this burgundy slip dress, no, actually, okay, I need to endorse or it’s yet for like 10 minutes here, IOR, it’s eeeh everything like every single time. I don’t know what to wear to an event. They have my back. They have exactly what I’m looking for so anyways. Now, what I’m doing is obviously I’ve washed my hair and I have to wax my legs and then I’m gonna do my nails and then we’ll get going flash-forward a good 20 minutes. My legs were hairless and it was time for my mother to wreak her havoc. On my mean of hair, she attacked it with the panache of a bonafide hairdresser. The goal was to make it look like a beautifully woven silk carpet. Instead of a crusty old rat’s nest – and she did just that – it was time to paint my claws on the menu, a beautiful black, scattered, holographic nail polish, simply illogical squeaking. No, usually, I don’t go for such dark colors because they make my fingers look like sausages and I remained correct. They did end up looking like little sausages and it was too late at that point because it was time to go to the venue. I was ready. Those boots were giving me some sort of otherworldly power. I was feeling like a majestic unicorn. I was on a roll. I was bulldozing everything in front of me. I could not be stopped. Don’t stop me now. This bipedal hominid was enjoying herself way too much. My fashion show did not last long, though, because soon enough, my mother had thrown me into the backseat and we were driving fast. My mother was in the fifth, nay seventh gear and was driving as if no policeman were looking, not really. But you get the point soon enough. We had arrived at the venue which I’ll remain nameless, because aliens are real and they are waiting for their opportunity to abduct us wake up.
Sheeple the blinding lights that somehow managed to keep the room dark met me as soon as I walked in. Maybe it’s those aliens, I thought. No red is not the color of extraterrestrials. I thought to myself it’s the color of no. No, no, no, no! No we’re getting off-topic. Aren’t we at the end of the day. I still had a lovely time, my friends from the swim team were there, including Erin with the 117 degree fever sharise with the perfect breaststroke and Jennifer. She, who loves to say sister, I mean that was all fun and games, but we all knew what I was really there for okay. My news cover all the exits: keep your animal at the ready, because this full course meal was a tummy full to say the least. First up the ravioli, ravioli, tortillas and guacamole. This stuff was honestly like crack. I’ve never done crack, but I know of many Crocs. So maybe I am just a felon. After all, I was mopping up the plate. Nonetheless, they wouldn’t even have to clean it when I was done with it next up the Caesar salad, it was good, except for the fact that they gave me like three leaves of romaine and finally, the chicken. I have to admit it was an abomination. It tasted like clay trying to be chicken. It was dry, but strangely moist. At the same time, it was hard to swallow it the thing tasted like sand and finally, I got the dinky astiz eart. Ever it was a ball of vanilla, ice cream, some strawberries and that god-awful raspberry vomits. I was doing everything in my power to eat around it, but it was everywhere flowing around that ball of ice cream, like it was trying to drown it, and just like that, the night was over. Mother, Goose came to pick me up and we drove off into the sunset now Wednesday came along and like most Wednesday’s do it was hump day the day of the week where nothing of interest happens, and yet it takes the longest amount of time to pass by. It’s like a fever dream you have at 3:00 in the morning when you wake up, you know what happened, but you can’t quite put your finger on what exactly it was that happened other than the fact that Sharkboy and Lavagirl were somehow involved. Actually, I watched that movie one too many times when I was in elementary school. I can remember everything from the awful CGI to the incompetence of the main character who was played by some Macaulay Culkin knockoff.
Actually, while we’re on the topic home alone was played every Christmas, when I was a child, nobody cared for the movie, but when it was played, everybody’s eyes were drawn to the TV like moths to a flame. I could probably recite it if someone asked me to actually no yeah. No, that’s just a bold-faced lie, isn’t it but hey if a bold-faced lie in an entire collection of moldy lipsticks will get you number one on trending? Who cares if it’s legit right, I bring you this footage from the underside of my umbrella, so we’re on our way to school. The penultimate walk of shame is upon us. There isn’t much going on at school to be honest, but I find that for some odd reason. I get a lot more work done when I’m sitting in class, so I’m going just so that I can have some good study sessions. If you know what I mean especially seniors at this point, no one’s going to school, like are you kidding me a couple of weeks ago we had senior skip day, I wasn’t invited, but that’s okay, because I have scholarships top holds. I ate breakfast like ten minutes ago, and I’m already hungry, anyways I’ll see you guys at school. Now Thursday was surprisingly eventful for one thing, and one thing only, I was gracefully sitting in chemistry minding my own gosh-darn business, when a little inchworm decided to show up on my desk, this dude was minuscule, but I could tell he was a tough nut. I feel like if I was an inchworm in an alternate universe. I would not be friends with him. Sorry, better luck next time, my guy doing well, I hope the weather is nice, where you are, I hope the cookies taste good and I hope the milk isn’t spoiled anyways it’s time for lunch now. I found an eggplant in my fridge this morning and I thought hey. Maybe I can do something with this, so I’m gonna try to make eggplant chips. I don’t think they’re gonna work, because I absolutely despise eggplant, it’s just so vile. I don’t understand how people can eat that and actually say I’m enjoying myself. Then I’m probably gonna go to the gym and then do some homework spoiler alert. The eggplant was the worst thing I had ever eaten and no, it was not because it was burnt. It’s the taste, it was putrid a grotesque creation honestly out to get me I gagged, thrashed and convulsed before giving up the effort to try to shove it down and donating it to my dad, who was one of those weirdos who loved eggplant a couple hours later.
It was time for me to go to the gym, but Mother Nature had other plans A torrential downpour was going on and I got excited and went for a run instead of going to the gym Let me tell you something: running in the rain Is the best thing ever and I cannot endorse it enough You do end up looking like a wet dog, but that’s the price you pay After that I had these tofu noodles we’re beyond scrumptious and a surprisingly flavorful vegan beef patty I devoured it quickly for the next morning, a fateful day lay ahead of me, I’m having an existential crisis it’s finally, here this is the last day I will wake up to go to high school I would like to thank my mom I would like to thank my dad I would like to thank my left foot, but not my right one, because it unfortunately passed away in a car accident Is there gonna be anyone at school today? No, but I’m going still because I’m gonna live it up I’m gonna get the full last day of high school experience, no more English class No more math study notes This was it I had finally crossed the finish line I mean I barely did, but I crossed it Nonetheless, this day was one of good memories and nightmares, bright lights and utter shadows, gentle waves and fierce tsunamis As much as I looked forward to what was to come, there was a part of me that could not believe I was finally finished and pretty much every single way This is all I’ve ever known I cried pooped peed ate and then I was thrown into school What is life now? I mean sure you have university next year, but that’s a whole different ballgame name We must not dwell on the future, but instead celebrate the past tonight My disciples we face I’ve never eaten this much ice cream in one sitting, but I’m going to now because I deserve it I have been doing this for 12 years If I want to drown myself in carbs, you best believe I’m going to do it So my dudes swirl of the story is, if you’re out there and you’re struggling in school, just know that two scoops of cookie dough ice cream on a waffle cone are waiting for you So that’s it! That’s all see you later