Beauty today

One day in Brazil

30 Sep , 2019  

I’m back from Narnia hello, my dudes how’s it going. I would first like to apologize for my rather skimpy quite daring and whorish outfit. Today. It’s literally a trillion degrees here in Rio and I’m not about to die from overheating. So we’re gonna have to deal with this, but you know I don’t have enough boobs to make this inappropriate so pretty sure he won’t get to monetize, but anyways. I bring you this footage halfway across the world in the wild wild south, that is, Brazil, my parents and I we decided to take a three week, vacation to come and visit family and just have some fun before the school season starts.
My parents and I are all originally from here – I was actually also born here, but we moved to Canada when I was 1 years old and it’s been a ride in the roller coaster. Ever since I’ve been having lots of fun. I’ve gotten sunburned already is that today I thought I’d show you what a day in my life here in the jungle looks like I’ve already had breakfast. I was actually able to get all the ingredients of my normal breakfast, except that they didn’t have tortillas. So I had to eat avocado toast, which I mean is always a bummer, but I’ll deal with it. Because of this, this, my dudes is an avocado here in Brazil. These things are mammoth-sized. This is rivaling the size of my head. Why don’t we have this? In Canada, I’m so tired of those dinky little avocados and by the way this tastes incredible, it’s so much more flavorful Canadian agriculture really has to step up its game with the stuff, but anyways. Let’s get on with this, my hair, it’s looking spectacular. Let’s get going, it was August, 11th, 9 a.m. 23 degrees Uranus in retrograde mercury, not in retrograde 415 parts per million of carbon dioxide in the air methane, a whopping 1866, the polar vortex. What about that thing? It’s just chilling over the North Pole at the moment. The stock market down 0.34%. What does that mean? I have no idea. All I know is that kevin O’Leary is probably crying in a pool of dollar bills right now, but enough of such novelties I ate breakfast that morning and got ready to go out and kill. Like 37 people, I mean go to the gym, but before we do that everyone, I would like to introduce you to my grandmother. Let me just tell you one thing: if you all had a tough time distinguishing between my mother and I just wait until you throw my grandmother into the mix, we’re like the three triplets from hell, we’re like the Olsen twins, x, 1.
5 and spoon-fed a healthy serving Of chaos but anyways, my parents and I started off the day, like we usually do by going to the gym here in Brazil. One thing that I noticed at least is that there is literally a gym at every single corner. There’s no such thing as the YMCA did did it. So we went to this. One ran by one of my dad’s buddies and we did our thing. There wasn’t much special going on here. It’s just the gym, it hurts. I hate it, but it’s medicine. I have to swallow if I want to survive eating 1 million cookies in one sitting I did my usual routine. I was going to leave they’re shredded my dad he did whatever the heck. This is and my mother, she had a blast on the stationary bike. Well, as much of a blast as one can possibly have once that was over and done with, I took a wet shower, which honestly made me look like a wet dog and my parents, and I we set out in search for someplace to eat lunch. Did we get lost? Yes, but we won’t talk about it. I blame it on Siri, I swear whenever we travel outside of Canada. It’s like she’s, constantly drunk Siri, put down the moonshine. Oh wait! No, that’s adderall! Darn it no steve-o! Regardless. It was lunchtime the awkwardest meal of the day. Now I’m not gonna lie. We’ve been in Brazil for three days so far and every single day we’ve eaten nothing, but the best tasting trash rio de janeiro has to offer well. American food truly is completely different than American cuisine, but it still is extremely good better. Dare I say for lunch that day we each had a huge bowl of okay excuse, my pronunciation right here: pengie cashew, it’s essentially cheese, bread, but not that typical American style. It’s so much better, I’m sorry, but that bread pales in comparison. I’ve had an addiction to this stuff and tiger in life. Actually, I was born addicted. My mother and I try to replicate this at home, but it’s never the same as the one that’s sold here. After that, I forgot to film it, but we also had Bini got there I’ll insert some stock footage here. I know it looks like poop, but it is still better than any chocolate.
You’Ll ever eat simply put it’s made by mixing condensed milk with cocoa powder, and it’s literally crack I mean I wouldn’t really know what that tastes like. No, I don’t know what crack is. I know of a crack in wall. I know of a butt crack. I don’t speak English, and that was it and I dude that was my amazing, extremely healthy and nutritive lunch. I think it’s no secret that I’m an extremely health-conscious human being, and this this just tops the charts. My insides have never been better. Thank you for asking my pancreas totally not working overtime. My blood sugar levels completely normal at this point. Lunch was over and we were feeling on the rather thick side of the spectrum. However, my Posse and I put on our swimsuits and went to the beach now. Obviously the beach is something we don’t have in Canada, but unfortunately you really can’t blame the tectonic plates for their temper tantrums. So we definitely relish in its wonders. Every time we visit Brazil, regardless we arrived at the beach set down our chairs and got to sizzling in the Sun. Now they say that a day at the beach cleanses, the soul. Well, I have to disagree because if anything, I always leave the beach Burt and extremely drained. Why? Because I spend half the time digging a hole to China a quarter of the time having fallen asleep in the Sun. A third of the time diving for seashells and the rest of the time I’m practicing gymnastics. I have so much untapped potential when it comes to gymnastics. I swear to you, I’m of the belief that, as long as you end with your arms up and a huge smile on your face, you can do whatever Exorcist type contortion you want and you will still do it correctly. Oh, what’s that you thought I wasn’t gonna eat anything else hat you idiot. We actually ended up eating this Brazilians called to be squeegee phantom, which is essentially a very light. Cassava flour based biscuit that is too good to describe the crunch. Oh my god. Don’t even get me started on the crunch. The crunch is too good. The crunch is beyond amazing. Okay, Kit Kat get out of here breadsticks. What even, are you nay? You won’t remember the biscuit, but damn it. You will remember the crunch at this point.
The day was nearly over, our activities were almost finished. The Sun was ready to say good night. It was the end of the day but nay, we still had dinner. We were not about to miss out on the third most yummy most gratuitous meal of the day. For dinner, my parents and I hit up a shoe house Katia, which is essentially a steak house where you eat until your stomach literally explodes and oh boy was I unprepared for the feast you’re about to see one does not arrive with small culinary ambitions. No! No. Oh, my god, meat did we eat now. The way these Brazilian steakhouses work is that there is a whole conglomeration of waiters that each have a certain type of meat and they each come around to your table. To give you a slice of whatever thigh shoulder rib wing tail eyebrow, you could possibly imagine do they serve salads, yes, but never go for the salads. Those are there to fill you up so that you don’t eat the meat and cost the restaurant money. I think it’s fair to say that I like to eat a lot as a child. It was really difficult for me to eat anything, but then adolescents hit and my goodness, gracious. I could not stop eating so eating at a place like this must have been a walk in the park. Right simply put I’ve never eaten this much meat in one sitting at any point. In my entire life, I definitely have to say: vegan discretion is advised for these next few clips. I didn’t even know that there were this many different cuts of meat. Chicken heart, that’s a thing. Can you believe it? I didn’t have the courage to eat it, though shoulder when the heck did we human beings start eating shoulder. I really do wonder what macaque it was that one day thousands of years ago said: hey, I’m gonna lob off this mammoth shoulder and we’ll have a feast tonight, hey Billy Billy! You got the wooden sticks for that grill great I’ll tell Gregg to bring those dried-up leaves that we use her seasoning anyways. We ate an eight and eight. We were the visual representations of gluttony manual. The waiter brought around this fillet steak. So if he’s watching this right now, how is it going my dude? Eventually, though, it got to a point where my mother and I got extremely full – the room was spinning mother Goose thought she could fool her stomach and fit more food by stretching, which I mean infallible logic, but it doesn’t work that way.
My father, though he was just getting started While we were just sitting there literally seconds away from dying by stomach explosion, he was still eating How beats me my stomach was literally hanging on for dear life and screaming at me to never do this again There wasn’t even room for dessert right, Johanna right right wrong Of course, there’s room for dessert, there’s always room for dessert What kind of rule is that we finished our feast with this cute little chocolate cake that was pretty much swimming in chocolate sauce and let me tell you it was amazing for context I filmed the entire process of my family and I eating this cake from the moment It was thrust in our faces to the moment that the final bite was swallowed by yours truly and the entire clip was 45 seconds Is there some world record that, like we have or something, because I’m pretty sure we did something there, we ate that thing so fast? I don’t even remember it happening Did i black out, did it once exist? Did I see a ghost? Was it dust in the wind dust in the wind? Everything is dust in the wind, then we went home and sat in traffic for what felt like forever We passed by these two bikers that appeared to be having a full blown conversation mid motorcycling, which I thought was kind of adorable but highly dangerous What were they talking about? Were they debating what they would have for dinner? The world may never know but anyways We then arrived on my grandma’s house and crashed for the night It is now the night day at 12:00 pm and I have yet to eat something because I am still whole from the feast I had last night but yeah my dudes, that’s it because I kind of want to enjoy my stay here and take a bit of a break before you know the madness that is University commences So I’ll see, if I’ll be able to post something, don’t expect something too spectacular If I do manage to post it, though that’s it for me today dudes, I love you so much stay, funky stay, spunky, stay, spicy and I’ll see you in the next one toodles


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Style & Inspiration

One day in Brazil

30 Sep , 2019  

I’m back from Narnia hello, my dudes how’s it going. I would first like to apologize for my rather skimpy quite daring and whorish outfit. Today. It’s literally a trillion degrees here in Rio and I’m not about to die from overheating. So we’re gonna have to deal with this, but you know I don’t have enough boobs to make this inappropriate so pretty sure he won’t get to monetize, but anyways. I bring you this footage halfway across the world in the wild wild south, that is, Brazil, my parents and I we decided to take a three week, vacation to come and visit family and just have some fun before the school season starts.
Leggi…


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