Style & Inspiration

Why am I not a woman? Is it?

1 Nov , 2019  

Dancing, oh yeah feel it running through your veins holding yellow roses. It’s salsa closes. It’s you wanna wake up. Anna knees touch everyone. including transition dysphoria. I look back at some old photos of me feminine expression as well as gender exploration. If you think any of that could potentially trigger your dysphoria, then this vid might not be for you catch me later totally. Okay. If you haven’t seen it already, and I reacted To their art today, I’m gonna react to some girl art along the way.
We’Ll probably have some cool conversations about what it means to be a woman or look like a woman’s boiler alert. There is no right way to look like a woman. That’s the whole point: gender does not equal expression, but before we dive into things, I want to respond to an anticipated comment. I can feel in case you’re new here: hey I’m ash, I’m non-binary and I’ve chosen to take steps to physically and medically transition in order to alleviate some of my dysphoria, but note that it is totally valid to be non-binary and not do that and I can See folks asking, why would you do this? Why would you want to look at yourself as a girl? Wouldn’t that cause you just for you valid pondering hypothetical internet, human, yes, and no, let’s first, remember that this whole thing is not that different from when binary trans. and I do indeed plan to incorporate some old pictures it making me crazy. Making me hot, Oh y’all, are in for a treat. Do you even remember what I looked like that? I don’t it can be empowering to see how far you’ve come, how much you’ve changed. I can tell that I am so much happier here than I am here and it can be validating to look at something. That’s not you and get that immediate gut reaction. Oh my gosh who’s that that is so not a Sh. I clearly made the right choice. Oh so, while some images will probably give me a few uncomfortable feels, I just have to remember that they aren’t me at least as I am now. I’m usually capable of distancing myself enough from these things, which are simply markings on paper or digital squiggles. To remember that, I am incredibly happy with the current body and expression that I have as it relates to my gender. So these illustrations personally, don’t threaten me.
I know they can’t come get me and make me look like them. I feel safe and secure enough in myself to do this. However, that’s just me and not every trans person is gonna feel the same way, which is totally valid, understandable and okay. Also fun fact. sometimes like, for example, this and this nope uh-uh. That’s not me, since I’m non-binary, afterall gendering me as a guy can be just as wrong as gendering me as a girl. Maybe in the future I’ll ask folks to draw me as non-binary whatever that means to them. That could be fun in the end. This is just an opportunity to have an awesome conversation about gender identity and expression for those who want to participate. You don’t have to also it’s such a solid illustration pun, intended of what a nifty experimentation tool art is. It’s a fun non permanent way to visualize yourself differently. You can try something on on paper and, if you don’t like it, no harm no foul, you didn’t actually do anything to yourself rip it up, toss it in the trash. It’s reversible, maybe you’re a closeted trans, feminine person, nervous and unsure about whether or not you want to venture into the women’s section of clothing stores. So you dry yourself in a dress first to see if it’s even worth it or soak up some gender euphoric feels and it doesn’t even have to relate to gender. Perhaps you want to try a different haircut or get a tattoo but you’re afraid to commit. Then doodle a bunch of different styles and things on yourself. First, as long as you remember that a drawing isn’t guaranteed to look or feel exactly like reality, then it’s a nice way to experiment, slow, controlled manner. Wow. I lied. This intro is long. Okay, art time this is really cute. I wouldn’t want to look like this, but I’d see this person and want to be their friend. It looks like me. The style is a bit different. The hair is not that different she’s kind of adorable this one’s really similar, but I feel a little bit more like this one. I don’t know why and based off the last three drawings I’ve determined that girls wear chokers. This is cute. I can tell I’m gonna say cute a lot NYX the eyelashes and the choker make the vest a little longer because that’s a little more masculine.
I don’t know why, in my weird opinion and add a septum ring, and it is me also, can we talk about how talented everyone is? Obviously I dig the gender nonconformity here. Girls can totally have armpit, hair and wear boxer briefs, but still rock flowy, pink, sheer skirt things nice. This girl is badass, they have confidence, nothing intimidates them, that’s just the vibe I get also. They must be a genderqueer girl because of the flag. Underneath my name. I think it’s just the eyelashes and the pink lips that keep me disconnected from a lot of these. Also the chest bump. This human submitted a piece for my boy, and it was just like this, and it was super cute and this one’s super cute too. I feel most aligned with the one wearing mismatching socks, but surprisingly, I do feel a minimal kinship to the figure with long hair. Maybe it’s just cuz they’re wearing a hoodie that says buns. I think this was inspired by the time period in which I had purple. Hair, because the only reason I had purple hair was cuz, I broke my arm, I didn’t have to go to work and it was gonna be the only time in my life. I’D be allowed to have purple hair, and this drawing has a cast. I feel like bright colored hair is a rite of passage for most queer people, not really, but it’s fun. I like natural hair, better though I don’t think I’ll ever dye, my hair again, but this person’s cool. I would be so uncomfortable in that outfit, though, ah and now. This looks just like me by the way, very good. I think it was taken from like a direct reference of me. So when I look at this, I don’t really see ash as a girl. I just see ash pre figuring themselves out. I think this person is adorable. The eyelashes and the lips are a bit feminine. Also note their hair is way messier than my hair would ever be when I wore the side ponytail, because all I was trying to do then was like maintain, control and hide my hair. I was not comfortable missing it around letting it just be itself like in this drawing here, yep hair not only contained in braids but hidden in hat. It feels good not having to hide anymore.
This is well done, but it’s a little cringe inducing because it looks just like me. It is the perfect cartoon version of me before I started expressing authentically and when I look at this all those past feelings of insecurity and confusion. Just come flooding back. I don’t know why, but I think this ash girl looks French. Somebody sent me this and I wanted to include it because I could in fact look exactly as I am and be a girl. There are no rules, girls out there do whatever you want. You have short hair and piercings and wear hats and masculine clothing. That is an amazing way to be a girl. I like this drawing – and I feel like this drawing and I think this drawing is me there – a cutie aren’t they I’d, look like that and a girl can look like that. We can both look like that. What’s gonna cause me the most dysphoria during this is probably seeing the chest bumps. This piece is super adorable, I’m assuming it’s me and grace. Ah, this gives me flashbacks to like prom when I had to wear dresses cuz. I didn’t start expressing that androgynous lay until college. I just fought my way through high school, uncomfortably and kind of feminine ly. Although I’d always have my hair up yeah, I don’t know what I’d do. If I had to wear this dress today, hmm that smirk, you can tell this person is feeling their dress. If I was in the dress, I would not be feeling the dress yeah just so girly I mean that’s what I asked for. I was okay at being girly sometimes, and by that I mean I could make it look cute. I was like a moderately attractive feminine person, but most of the photos I ever took with my hair down were home alone, because I just like was way too uncomfortable. Ever to go outside like that and then a majority of the time the outside match the inside and I just looked and felt awkward. I had these bangs, I didn’t know what to do with. They just swept across my head and I hair sprayed them to death in place, and I bobby pins them down and I couldn’t not have the folks the bangs helped hide me. This is a very sweet drawing I feel like I look younger. I, like the medium, though, is it like watercolor or chalk, or it’s neat. Some of these are so real like they hit. This is what I would look like if I was trying hard to fit in the septum ring such fashion.
I like their gloves and boots and hip leather things. This individual looks like they’d, be really kind and bake you cookies, Oh, like the best teacher ever. This is like Miss Honey. Ah, okay yeah this one taps into the curve in hip dysphoria, but I do like how body-positive this individual is, and they have so much confidence and agency over what they wear pants a dress. Both are great options I could rock either. I feel, like this person says all right at this point: we’ve gotten through some art. So thank you. Skillshare Skillshare is an online learning community, with thousands of classes in art, business technology and more. I love using steel chair for editing and drawing purposes. This is it pretty good right. I mean it was mostly copying and stuff, but I did it Premium. Membership on Skillshare gives you unlimited access to high-quality classes from experts working in their fields, so you can improve your skills, unlock new opportunities and do the work. You love also. An annual subscription is only ten dollars which is way cheaper than a lot of other learning platforms check out the link below to find more and the first 500 people get a free trial. You should do it get ready. which would be fun. I love how artistic this piece is comment below your personal interpretation of it, I’m not sure, but I like it and if I were to only look at the top half, I would feel kind of connected to it. That connection goes away as soon as you see the back, but it’s cool and we continue with the abstract theme here: I’m a side, braid princess in a pantsuit just expressing a ton of out of my hands. I like apples and pizza and beach balls and balloons confession. I have an insecurity about having a small head and this piece reinforced battle little. This girl is a lumberjack who built their own log cabin with their giant hands because they rock this artists chair to be an email that they drew this to show that girls can do anything which I love, be an astronaut be gay This is all an alternate-dimension right, a different universe where I’m a girl, so I could also be a ma’am.
I could be a trans girl who wears pansexual socks I could be a HEPA cute girl with body hair and facial, hair and blue lipstick I really enjoy the abstract nature of this piece It’s cool this character has a lot of similarities to myself, except their eyebrows are clearly done good for you groom your eyebrows girl, a person who watches me that I got to meet in real life through this Their name is Alex they’re, very cool and clearly very talented I don’t know why, but this looks like me if I were a girl and 35 and worked at a library This person reads a lot and has some very strict rules about how their libraries run but they’re fun That’s what I get from this This is also a nerdy girl They have like some hidden talent, though, like I feel like they draw comics and are very good at it This person is cool, but reminds me of the time when I used to wear makeup, which is super rare Now I used to really like top eyelid liquid eyeliner, but recently I haven’t been digging it Also, it’s really challenging to apply it’s cute That’s all I have to say about this one I like this girl’s style a lot I would wear that hat and shirt combo Oh, a badass girl I have a question: do I have blonde hair or brown hair? I don’t know I’m always unsure of what to put on my driver’s license If hair is a spectrum, I’m nan blonde re or nan brown area Tell me what you think Let’s decide today ash-har del blonde or brunette ooh, this one’s cool I really like this one I love how gender nonconforming so many of y’all’s girls were It shows me that you’re not restricted by gender roles, rules or norms, which is rad Isn’t this one amazing another? Pretty girly piece, thank you so much for watching I love appreciating y’all’s art featured artists will be compensated because supporting the community is good Also, all their links will be in the description below in case you want to reach out, follow or inquire about a commissioned Job comment below and tell me how you experiment with appearance and I’ll see you later: ok, bye,

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